bye bye OC

I read once that people who smile with their mouths open like this are trying to draw attention to themselves.
Hmm, here's another Bravo attention whore...

Ok, the show starts off with Jeana going on a date with a guy in a flannel shirt. Of course they went to the Regis for dinner because no one can go anywhere that isn't paid for by Bravo or the place itself. Watching two people have a first date on TV is almost as awkward and uncomfortable as going on a first date. I wish Jeana well but I don't think the magic was happening with that dude.

I felt bad for Brianna that her mom wasn't more supportive of her interest in the Army. When she said she was the only one at the meeting w/out a parent I was like "Oh, damn. Ouch." I'd be like Vicki and not want my kid to do that, but if he's 22 and wants to do it, I have to support him. It was also sad when she blurted out "Colby dumped me out of nowhere!" If I was a guy, I would totally be calling that girl! She's a nurse, she likes to do karate (or whatever they did together), she doesn't want to go shopping for expensive clothes, she likes Lake Havasu...I'm sure she won't be single for long. Unless she wants to be! A girl like that can call her own shots and I hope she knows it.

Then they show Lynne and Raquel. Ew. First of all, can she do something with that hair please? I just want to scoop it up into a ponytail and chop it off. Lynne tries to tell Raquel that she needs to go to school, which she'll pay for, or get a job. The conversation ends with Raquel saying "peace out" a bunch of times. Lynne says "Gosh". Where is the Grandma when you need her?

The party at the end took up most of the episode, I didn't expect that. I was holding back barf having to hear them all say how hot they all were when they greeted each other. They can't just say "How are you", it's "Oh, you're so hot" "Hey hottest Housewife" etc. I am so sick of the word "hot" after watching this show!

It was really funny when they'd show Vicki in her little interview saying "I don't want to be all flashy about my Rolex" then at the party she's waving it in everyone's face saying how she bought it for herself. First of all, she got it from a website that sells USED Rolexes so it wasn't even new and she probably got it for free from them so she didn't even buy it for herself! She goes on and on about how she had a good quarter and she works so hard...she has a youtube video saying how great the website is and how she loves her watch so much...why would she make this if she was not getting free crap?

Another holding back barf moment occured when Vicki draped herself on Tammy Knickerbocker's boyfriend and moaned to him about how she needs to be told she is wonderful. Just because you admit you're a needy psycho doesn't make it okay. A serial killer who admits his crimes isn't allowed to just go free is he? Yes I just compared Vicki Gunvalson to a serial killer, yikes!

Gretchen giving all the ladies wallets was funny. It pissed Vicki and Tamera off something fierce, didn't it? Vicki felt like it made her look bad for not bringing gifts herself. Obviously there was no "gift email", she just wanted to do something nice! I guess that's such a strange concept for Vicki she has to get pissed off about it. When Tamera said that maybe it was just Gretchen kissing their asses, her eyes were barely open. Seeing how envious Tamera & Vicki are of Gretchen has made both of them so ugly! (Not that I ever thought Vicki was the least bit attractive)

Simon giving Tamera the bracelet-bleh! Another plug for some whack ass company that thinks being on a Bravo show will make them money. We know Simon hasn't been working, their house is up for sale, no one's buying that HE bought her that bracelet.

Not to be left out or outdone, Gretchen receives a Harley Davidson and sappy romantic letter from her hospital bound fiancee Jeff. Tamera pretends to like the gift and letter then pouts to Lauri that SHE wanted a motorcycle and the reason Gretchen has one is she's copying her. No one in the world is allowed to like/ride/own a motorcycle besides Tamera I guess. Just like no one in the world can drink a dirty martini except Vicki. Vicki didn't haul her ass upstairs to coo at the gift so I at least have to give it to her for not being fake.

Tamera states that she and Vicki think Jeff is paying Gretchen to take care of him. Uh, DUH GUYS!!! EVERYONE knows Jeff is paying Gretchen, including Jeff and Gretchen! They also seem to really like each other, which I guess is what makes Vicki and Tamera so mad. He spoils her the way they would like to be spoiled. It's all about stuff and appearances to these chicks and Gretchen has both of those areas covered way better than V & T! No matter how much Vicki crows about how she loves working hard and enjoying the "fruits of her labor", she wants a man to buy her EXPENSIVE things. She wants to be able to shove her big fat ring or bracelet or watch or car in all the other girl's faces and have them say how jealous they are of her. She's probably wanted that her entire life.

The Gretchen situation on it's own is pretty sick, don't get me wrong. It's gross to me when she gets all excited about these material things that Jeff buys for her and he's not even there to share them with her (like her "gigantor" engagement ring). But then she gets around Vicki and Tamara, who are on this whole other level, it makes Gretchen seem less horrible. I think if Vicki and Tamera had just kept their mouths shut about Gretchen things would have turned out differently, but they couldn't hold in their jealousy. They have to trash talk her and try to make other people not like her when in the end it just makes people not like them.

In her blog Tamera sounds like she does realize she needs to work on herself. Vicki sounds like her usual, narcissistic self.